On this episode, Mary is interviewing Dr. Julia Sadusky on mental health and loneliness. Dr. Sadusky has worked with Mark Yarhouse on multiple books and projects related to sexual orientation and gender identity. She did her disseration on loneliness in the lives of celibate gay Christians. Dr. Sadusky is sharing with us some of the results of her work as well as advice for Side B Christians who want to improve their mental health.
If you want to contact Dr. Julia Sadusky, you can email her at drsadusky@gmail.com.
Publications mentioned in the episode:
- The summary of Dr. Sadusky’s dissertation research on Spiritual Friendships can be found here.
- “Approaching Gender Dysphoria” (Grove Ethics) can be purchased on Amazon here.
- “Understanding Transgender Identities: Four Views” (Baker Academic) can be purchased on Amazon here.
- “A Christian View of Sex Reassignment Surgery and Hormone Therapy” (The Center for Faith, Sexuality and Gender) – https://centerforfaith.com/blog/how-should-christians-respond-to-sex-reassignment-surgery-and-hormone-therapy
- Her upcoming book, “Emerging Gender Identities”, releases August 18th, 2020. You can purchase it at here.
As discussed in the episode, if you are having suicidal thoughts, make sure to contact your therapist or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (800-273-8255) or the Trevor Project (866-488-7386).
Here is a list of some LGBT+ Side B friendly counseling services that might be helpful for anyone single or married in need of counseling. As we said in the episode, make sure you find a counselor that is right for you and that you feel comfortable with.
- Global Counseling Network – www.globalcounselingnetwork.com
- New Hope Counseling Center – www.newhopecounseling.com
- Hopewell Counseling – www.hopewellmin.org
- Arrow Advising – www.arrowheadadvising.com
- Henegar Counseling Center – henegarcc.com
- E91 Counseling Center – https://www.east91st.org/ministries/counseling/
- Caring Well Counseling – https://caringwell.net/
Thank you for your work and for this episode. I was so glad to hear my own thoughts and feelings reflected in research. I was glad to know I’m not alone with loneliness, which of course eases the pain of loneliness a little bit in itself. But I was scared this conversation would again not give much more than what I’ve heard before. Sadly, it really didn’t. My experience is that therapy never ever made me feel less lonely. It never made me feel less isolated or even less depressed long term. It gave me some coping skills that I’m thankful for but I wouldn’t say it is the answer to loneliness. We’re lonely because we lack friends who are willingly and gladly part of our lives, walking along side of us as we are and as we struggle. That’s not what therapy can give us. We’re not meant to do life alone, otherwise we wouldn’t be miserable. That’s one reason people get married even if they’re same sex attracted. But I hope someone out there understands this; my soul is just so so tired of fighting the indication/advice – from either side of the tape – that therapy, or marriage for that matter, is the answer. And that if we live our lives in this empty limbo called celibacy, it must be our fault or that we just weren’t so lucky to find a spouse or the right therapists or the right friends. Clearly, a lot of people out there, like me, for whatever reason don’t find that therapy and marriage can be the answer for them right now, and that finding intimate friendships with people who can relate to us and “get us” is the hardest thing we’ve ever had to do while being depressed and lonely. Maybe, if I think about it now, the answer would be to stop pointing to therapists, resources, and unknown, future spouses and point to ourselves when we come across someone who is lonely. “I’ll be your friend. I’ll walk along with you. I accept you. I want to know you.” are things that lonely people need and want to hear, instead of “Find help.” I hope I can do that for someone and I hope we can all start doing that whatever our orientation and relationship status is.